” thinking she could cause me trouble.“But I will.” she determined, “Now, do you have any skills?” she asked, leaning back in her chair.“I can fit into some pretty tight holes.” I mocked, trying to get her out of her serious stance.“Oh, I seen that!” she laughed, looking back down at the folder, and then peered at me over those glasses again. “What else can you do?”Well, I couldn’t say sex was part of my arsenal of skills. The best I could come up with was, “I can cut grass.”A puzzled look crossed her face and she asked, “No cooking or cleaning?” and shook her head, “Ironing or washing?”“Oh yeah, I guess I can do that too.” I agreed, beside myself for not thinking of women chores first.“But you like being outside.” she guessed, “We have a maintenance detail you could join.” she thought, “And I could refer you to that.” standing up.“That would be great.” I admitted, “I could use some fresh air.”She stepped around her desk, showing off her short, pleated skirt, and stepped to my side.. That summer passed me by. Dazed and grieving, I didn’t know what to do with myself. James was frantic. It wasn’t fair. I suppose if I’d had other c***dren, I might have snapped out of it sooner. However, a cyst on my ovaries became malignant. I had lost the capacity to bear more c***dren not long after James had been born. So it was he and I, now. Just James and me.That summer finally began to draw to a close. James wished to withdraw his application to the large university he had elected on, and apply to the local state college instead. I think that’s what snapped me out of my grief. We quarreled about it, but I finally convinced him to go on with his plans. James’s trust fund, his scholarship, and the money he’d earned would safely see him through college. There was no need to change his plans now. I had gotten a job, a good one. I would be busy. I saw him off at the airport, and wept. The house loomed emptily when I returned. James would be home for Thanksgiving. We’d said I might.
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